Marriages in India

A few months back i was going through a marriage invitation from one of my best friend and that invitation really made me feel does our civilization need a revamp particularly the Institution of Marriage.

MARRIAGE in India goes well beyond sanctifying the union of man and woman. Rather it serves as the steel-frame on which our society rests. In fact, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to suggest that to understand Indian society, one needs to be a keen observer of the institution of Indian marriage itself.

Marriages in India, far from reflecting societal norms, serve as its very source. It is a tool for preserving and propagating caste and class structures, a mechanism for dividing people along religious lines and a sorry excuse for laying out so-called gender responsibilities in society and subjugating women.

Unfortunately very little has changed in 21st century in India. Needless to say that women are at the receiving end of it all. Not only do they not have a say in who they get married to (that choice is reserved for her family only!), but as a married woman also, she is forced to abide by the dictates that are laid down by the society for her (something that Indian men don’t have to bother with!). For the Indian ‘bahu’ has to be a ‘sati-savitri’ whose wishes are secondary to her husband’s and in-laws’, she should be a good homemaker and she should be a virgin.

So ingrained is this institution and the mindset surrounding it that even though Indian society has witnessed significant economic and material development in the last two decades, it has simply not translated into reform in the old ways of thinking. Contrary to liberating people from old customs and traditions, wealth it seems has strengthened it.

Indian marriages, today, might have transformed at a superficial level but there is very little to suggest that things have changed otherwise. We might have matrimonial sites to assist us in finding Mr or Miss Right and we might get used to throwing lavish weddings in 5-star hotels, but yet the rules of the game remain the same. Marriage is still governed by the age-old dictates of caste, creed and religion and continues to be a tool for perpetuating the patriarchal order and subjugating women. Although there are encouraging trends like increasing court marriages, those are still at a nascent stage. For the time being, wealth and better standards of living have only strengthened this decadent institution that can only be uprooted through a revolution in the mindsets of the people.